It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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