That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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