I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
