Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
