Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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