Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
