I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
pray to the hookup gods
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
