HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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