Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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