i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
