we're chasing vodka with high fives
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
