what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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