I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
