I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
