Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
