seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
