Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
