you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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