Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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