He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
