so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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