she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
