She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
