i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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