need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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