The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
