**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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