sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
