How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
