Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
