is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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