took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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