i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
two words...techno handjob
organizing the empties. That sober.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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