i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
