Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
