I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
