Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
