you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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