this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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