i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
