Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
