he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
