oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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