your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
