he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
