there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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