Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
