I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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