Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
