I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
