No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
