They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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