You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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