can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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